Zarah Jani ...........

Beneath the aloof and sometimes glacial exterior, Zarah is more sensitive and emotional than the average person. Her intuition is considerably well developed, and she applies it with mastery in her personal interactions. Indeed, she tends to be passive, even a little lazy at times and is often far away in a daydream; although her faculties of observation are excellent. She is very attentive to the needs of others, but often forgets about herself. 

She is generally shy, and can be very

touching; however she is just as capable of showing quite formidable character. She is discreet, modest even, to such an extent that she can appear frosty and distant. She holds her privacy dear and tends to be rather secretive, which is why Zarah is often such an enigma to those around her! This is probably just a protective mechanism, because she is sensitive and generally feels vulnerable. If she experiences emotional upheaval, she may react by becoming withdrawn and hiding away from the world, and could even experience periods of depression. Yet she is also capable of great courage and determination if she happens to be touched by a particular cause (usually of a social nature). Actually, she is such a complex creature because she is divided between two rather antagonistic frequencies of vibration. 

                                               The energies of the 9

are conducive to a certain spirituality and concern for others well-being  inciting her to join groups or associations with similar ideals... Then there are those of the 7, which tend to induce skepticism  egocentricity and push her to flee the world and live as a hermit - even in the family home... Parents, beware, because Zarah can be rather manipulative, and underneath the cool reserve, wisdom and kindness, she could have a surprise or two up her sleeve! Furthermore, she can often be of quite mercurial temperament. On the other hand, she has an enormous need for affection. Magic and the supernatural: the weird, wonderful and fantastic have a special place in her heart, as do tales and legends. If she suffers an emotional disappointment, she is inclined to escape into her inner world of daydreams. It would be desirable for her to develop an artistic hobby, and to participate in group activities to help develop her sense of solidarity.

my dream princess and angel who will surely fly from heaven to her papa one day .... 

wonder the wait ends first or my life....... 

dream never ends torturing me,

and hope never die keeping me alive.....

Zarah Jani.....an element of Utkarsh
miss you

only Woman can make a MAN.....

It was in Pune that I met Narayan Murty through my friend Prasanna who is now the Wipro chief, who was also training in Telco(TataMotors) . Most of the books that Prasanna lent me had Murty's name on them which meant that I had a preconceived image of the man. Contrary to expectation, Murty was shy,bespectacled and an introvert. When he invited us for dinner. I was a bit taken aback as I thought the young man was making a very fast move. I refused since I was the only girl in the group. But Murty was relentless and we all decided to meet for dinner the next day at 7.30 p.m .. at Green Fields hotel on the Main Road ,Pune.

The next day I went there at 7' o ! clock since I had to go to the tailor near the hotel. And what do I see? Mr. Murty waiting in front of the hotel and it was only seven. Till today, Murty maintains that I had mentioned (consciously! ) that I would be going to the tailor at 7 so that I could meet him... And I maintain that I did not say any such thing consciously or unconsciously because I did not think of Murty as anything other than a friend at that stage. We have agreed to disagree on this matter.

Soon, we became friends. Our conversations were filled with Murty's experiences abroad and the books that he has read. My friends insisted that Murty as trying to impress me because he was interested in me. I kept denying it till one fine day, after dinner Murty said, I want to tell you something. I knew this as it. It was coming. He said, I am 5'4" tall. I come from a lower middle class family. I can never become rich in my life an! d I can never give you any riches. You are beautiful, bright, and intelligent and you can get anyone you want. But will you marry me? I asked Murty to give me some time for an answer. My father didn't want me to marry a wannabe politician, (a communist at that) who didn't have a steady job and wanted to build an orphanage...

When I went to Hubli I told my parents about Murty and his proposal. My mother was positive since Murty was also from Karnataka, seemed intelligent and comes from a good family. But my father asked: What's his job, his salary, his qualifications etc? Murty was working as a research assistant and was earning less than me. He was willing to go dutch with me on our outings. My parents agreed to meet Murty in Pune on a particular day at10 a. m sharp. Murty did not turn up. How can I trust a man to take care of my daughter if he cannot keep an appointment, asked my father.

At 12noon Murty turned up in a bright red shirt! He had gone on work to Bombay , was stuck in a traffic jam on the ghats, so he hired a taxi(though it was very expensive for him) to meet his would-be father-in-law. Father was unimpressed. My father asked him what he wanted to become in life.

Murty said he wanted to become a politician in the communist party and wanted to open an orphanage. My father gave his verdict. NO. I don't want my daughter to marry somebody who wants to become a communist and then open an orphanage when he himself didn't have money to support his family.

Ironically, today, I have opened many orphanages something, which Murty wanted to do 25 years ago. By this time I realized I had developed a liking towards Murty which could only be termed as love. I wanted to marry Murty because he is an honest man. He proposed to me highlighting the negatives in his life. I promised my father that I will not marry Murty without his blessings though at the same time, I cannot marry anybody else. My father said he would agree if Murty promised to take up a steady job. But Murty refused saying he will not do things in life because somebody wanted him to. So, I was caught between the two most important people in my life.

The stalemate continued for three years during which our courtship took us to every restaurant and cinema hall in Pune. In those days, Murty was always broke. Moreover, he didn't earn much to manage. Ironically today, he manages Infosys Technologies Ltd., one of the world's most reputed companies. He always owed me money. We used to go for dinner and he would say, I don't have money with me, you pay my share, I will return it to you later. For three years I maintained a book on Murty's debt to me.. No, he never returned the money and I finally tore it up after my wedding.

The amount was a little over Rs 4000. During this interim period Murty quit his job as research assistant and started his own software business. Now, I had to pay his salary too! Towards the late 70s computers were entering India in a big way.

During the fag end of 1977 Murty decided to take up a job as General Manager at Patni computers in Bombay .. But before he joined the company he wanted to marry me since he was to go on training to the US after joining. My father gave in as he was happy Murty had a decent job, now.

WE WERE MARRIED IN MURTY'S HOUSE IN BANGALORE ON FEBRUARY 10, 1978 WITH ONLY OUR TWO FAMILIES PRESENT.I GOT MY FIRST SILK SARI. THE WEDDING EXPENSES CAME TO ONLY RS 800 (US $17) WITH MURTY AND I POOLING IN RS 400 EACH..

I went to the US with Murty after marriage. Murty encouraged me to see America on my own because I loved travelling. I toured America for three months on backpack and had interesting experiences which will remain fresh in my mind forever. Like the time when the New York police took me into custody because they thought I was an Italian trafficking drugs in Harlem . Or the time when I spent the night at the bottom of the Grand Canyon with an old couple. Murty panicked because he couldn't get a response from my hotel room even at midnight. He thought I was either killed or kidnapped.

IN 1981 MURTY WANTED TO START INFOSYS. HE HAD A VISION AND ZERO CAPITAL...initially I was very apprehensive about Murty getting into business. We did not have any business background ... Moreover we were living a comfortable life in Bombay with a regular pay check and I didn't want to rock the boat. But Murty was passionate about creating good quality software. I decided to support him. Typical of Murty, he just had a dream and no money. So I gave him Rs 10,000 which I had saved for a rainy day, without his knowledge and told him, This is all I have. Take it. I give you three years sabbatical leave. I will take care of the
financial needs of our house. You go and chase your dreams without any worry. But you
have only three years!

Murty and his six colleagues started Infosys in 1981,with enormous interest and hard work. In 1982 I left Telco and moved to Pune with Murty. We bought a small house on loan which also became the Infosys office. I was a clerk-cum-cook- cum-programmer. I also took up a job as Senior Systems Analyst with Walchand group of Industries to support the house.

In 1983 Infosys got their first client, MICO, in Bangalore . Murty moved to Bangalore and stayed with his mother while I went to Hubli to deliver my second child, Rohan. Ten days after my son was born, Murty left for the US on project work. I saw him only after a year, as I was unable to join Murty in the US because my son had infantile eczema, an allergy to vaccinations. So for more than a year I did not step outside our home for fear of my son contracting an infection. It was only after Rohan got all his vaccinations that I came to Bangalore where we rented a small house in Jayanagar and rented another house as Infosys headquarters. My father
presented Murty a scooter to commute. I once again became a cook, programmer, clerk,
secretary, office assistant et al. Nandan Nilekani (MD of Infosys) and his wife Rohini stayed with us. While Rohini babysat my son, I wrote programs for Infosys. There was no car, no phone, and just two kids and a bunch of us working hard, juggling our lives and having fun while Infosys was taking shape. It was not only me but also the wives of other partners too who gave their unstinted support. We all knew that our men were trying to build something good.

It was like a big joint family,taking care and looking out for one another. I still remember Sudha Gopalakrishna looking after my daughter Akshata with all care and love while Kumari Shibulal cooked for all of us. Murty made it very clear that it would either be me or him working at Infosys. Never the two of us together... I was involved with Infosys initially.


Nandan Nilekani suggested I should be on the Board but Murty said he did not want a husband and wife team at Infosys. I was shocked since I had the relevant experience and technical qualifications. He said, Sudha if you want to work with Infosys, I will withdraw, happily. I was pained to know that I will not be involved in the company my husband was building and that I would have to give up a job that I am qualified to do and love doing.

It took me a couple of days to grasp the reason behind Murty's request..I realized that to make Infosys a success one had to give one's 100 percent. One had to be focussed on it alone with no other distractions. If the two of us had to give 100 percent to Infosys then what would happen to our home and our children? One of us had to take care of our home while the other took care of Infosys.

I opted to be a homemaker, after all Infosys was Murty's dream. It was a big sacrifice but it was one that had to be made. Even today, Murty says, Sudha, I stepped on your career to make mine. You are responsible for my success.

That's the Power of Love.

high tides of Darkness.....

Sometimes i feel that god has perfect script drafted , and make things happen just as per his well written meticulous script .... at regular intervals i met few special friends, one died and others are lost all dazed in the maze of world finding their own path to happiness and not giving me any opportunity to miss them...

But i miss one special friend really from bottom of my heart , who not only played an important role in building my career but was witness to my all ups and down....a friend in real terms who could stand by me like a rock in difficult times and could inspire me always ...perhaps god always wanted me to value such friends in life , but that friend is stolen by god .....even ace archer like Arjun needed guide like Krishna, i too need such guide .... today i see darkness and feeling down & out and missing that friend so much who would inspire me to fly high ....miss you , may your soul rest in peace, wish you lived some more to guide me through this darkness, i really need few words to lift my spirit .... 

chasing a shadow......

of late have been chasing a shadow, shadow of an illusion, shadow of dreams , shadow of  imaginary life,...A discreet shadow who is brightened up in the day light with sharp edges giving rays hopes, but in the night gets disappeared in the darkness of realities ... 

every-time i chased hard to grasp in my arms with full force to make shadows as one image; but the shadow would just vanish with gasp...

in-spite having followed religiously in the pursuit of happiness, the shadow put me down , shows me in bad light in front of others, the shadow never stood by me in the moments of crisis , making me realize it was never mine, and if it was mine then shadow would have followed me all the time and not me ....

senti MENTAL value

in general "VALUE" means worth in terms of unit, which could be again measured in money or anything , the term "value" has so many meanings , in terms of mathematics or science or economics or law , the meaning keeps changing; but for me its only sentimental value which is actually of any worth....  

in one of the Bollywood movie, mega star Amitabh bachchan was buying a building and after the deal seller tells, you don't know how to do business !!!!!!  even if you had bargained 5 lacs less, i would have sold; to that Amitabh replies that its you who dont know how to do business; even if you would have asked 5 lac more would have paid, as my mother was one of the laborer involved during its construction...

in real life too you get to see such people who value their sentiments far more than valueless printed notes which is called "money"..... these people wear heart on their sleeves and are outspoken without any hypocrisy, i truly love such people but are rare to find...

one more visuals i remember of having such lovely feelings;  A beautiful woman already engaged wearing platinum diamond ring of her fiancee, falls in deep love with a poor boy.  while sitting against a beautiful lake the poor boy spots her engagement ring and gets annoyed , and he pulls it off and throw in the lake and ties a small grass ring around her finger, blushing with the act, woman in love just hugs him with unstoppable kiss ;  she doesn't care what was the price of the ring but she values the grass tied around her fingers more, as its out of love and gratitude is what i called a "sentimental value" ... 

believe me in life if you have a choice to make , give importance to sentimental value more than monetary value , if money is lost nothing is lost but if emotions are lost everything is lost ... rather than preserving tangible assets , preserve invaluable sentiments, which can make you smile upon remembrance in the form of memories...

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emotions out of control

a wonderful character came across whom everyone calls maahi, in her late 20's or early 30's full of passion, with most unconventional looks but most conventional beauty with very fair complexions and golden hair, the long curl hanging on her right side , touching her baby eye lashes makes her cute.. Delicate beauty like most pampered princess of her dad, the only person (dad) who could understand her, love her; unfortunately is no more....

what is more exciting about this girl is that she is so impulsive, restless, emotional and adventurous wild raw character , with charming personality of her own, who gets in to the minute details of any subject she develops interest for... she has very kind, soft and loving heart who finds happiness in helping and very generous to others ...

a dreamer, a loner, a bit complex character with full of attitude which is oftentimes misunderstood in rudeness and at times her impulsive over emotional outburst as psycho and abusive ... very few understand that neither she is psycho nor abusive but those who understand this are not in her life anymore ... when in love she goes all mad for her love and makes every bit of the moments so graceful and memorable , yet  her over possession makes her unwanted ... the irony is, in-spite being lovely and so competitive and better than most, she suffers from strange insecurity , she cannot lose her love to anybody in the world, not even to god... 

circumstances and other's mature (made up) behavior makes her even more complex, but in reality she is too simple to deal with, as the person she loves only needs to whisper in her ears , i love maahi and very next moment she will melt like a butter from a solid stone in his arms, but fact remains she loves to be chased which gives her feeling of being most wanted but it (chasing) never happens...

she has made her own law of love bit similar to Sir Issac Newton's laws of physics of every action has the same reaction with same force and velocity , she has made her own law that whoever loves her truly gets three times of the love with more intensity and madness which makes her most special 

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Editorial - struggle to live with Opposition

opposites attracts , as long as love is concerned , as the most imperfect matches turn out to be made for each other , just like needle and thread, both different but when together makes things happen....

other than love , opposite never attracts nor can be together....

Role of opposition (constructive) is to make the entity accountable for their actions , but in reality its not the same , as people oppose for their vested interests or selfish motives (political parties, housing society members)......... there's a thin line that separates self esteem and ego, and to feed that dirty ego good amount of fodder in the form of  "opposition" is required.

when Mahesh Bhupati and Rohan boppana opposed to pair with Leander pace for winning an olympic medal for the country , was as good as traitor's act . the irony is when a father wants to oppose to bring up disable child, and wants to abondon his own son Girish on the basis of physical disability turns out to be a silver medal winner in paralympics...perhaps in second case opposition of father has turned out to be a motivation in life to prove him wrong......

i strongly believe there's no thrill in success without being opposed to it , and at times such opposition turns out to be only inspiring factor in life...

its basic right of any person or entity to oppose , but not at the cost of the goodness of the purpose or objective. just like today all political parties opposing decision of government of Foreign Direct Investments (FDI) in retail sector, the protest by opposition is  for their own benefits of damaging the ruling party and such oppositions without convictions have no value, as FDI in retail will benefit public at large except small shop keepers.

opposition doesn't necessarily mean enmity , but the approach and way of expressions of opposition can mislead and backfire, how Aseem Trivedi was charged with sedition for expressing his mute opposition via animated cartoons...or the film stating anti prophet mohammad made by an American is strongly opposed by entire Muslim world, America stands by the basic fundamental/constitutional right of expressions, but such gestures from both sides are debatable.  

opposing an idea also have great such stories as many great inventions were initially opposed , but overcoming such opposition and making it great success is what is i called big turn on for me... opposing to employ Amitabh Bachan in All India Radio was a blunder as the same voice has been greatest asset of Indian cinema & Entertainment....but opposition of some ideas like computerization in 70's before my birth was really uncalled for and unfortunate , as we (Inida) saw the revolution of Information technology very late in 90's.

success is not measured by what you accomplished but how much opposition you have encountered and how you maintained your struggle with great courage against all odds. i respect those who resist me but i just can not tolerate them....

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