chasing a shadow......

of late have been chasing a shadow, shadow of an illusion, shadow of dreams , shadow of  imaginary life,...A discreet shadow who is brightened up in the day light with sharp edges giving rays hopes, but in the night gets disappeared in the darkness of realities ... 

every-time i chased hard to grasp in my arms with full force to make shadows as one image; but the shadow would just vanish with gasp...

in-spite having followed religiously in the pursuit of happiness, the shadow put me down , shows me in bad light in front of others, the shadow never stood by me in the moments of crisis , making me realize it was never mine, and if it was mine then shadow would have followed me all the time and not me ....

senti MENTAL value

in general "VALUE" means worth in terms of unit, which could be again measured in money or anything , the term "value" has so many meanings , in terms of mathematics or science or economics or law , the meaning keeps changing; but for me its only sentimental value which is actually of any worth....  

in one of the Bollywood movie, mega star Amitabh bachchan was buying a building and after the deal seller tells, you don't know how to do business !!!!!!  even if you had bargained 5 lacs less, i would have sold; to that Amitabh replies that its you who dont know how to do business; even if you would have asked 5 lac more would have paid, as my mother was one of the laborer involved during its construction...

in real life too you get to see such people who value their sentiments far more than valueless printed notes which is called "money"..... these people wear heart on their sleeves and are outspoken without any hypocrisy, i truly love such people but are rare to find...

one more visuals i remember of having such lovely feelings;  A beautiful woman already engaged wearing platinum diamond ring of her fiancee, falls in deep love with a poor boy.  while sitting against a beautiful lake the poor boy spots her engagement ring and gets annoyed , and he pulls it off and throw in the lake and ties a small grass ring around her finger, blushing with the act, woman in love just hugs him with unstoppable kiss ;  she doesn't care what was the price of the ring but she values the grass tied around her fingers more, as its out of love and gratitude is what i called a "sentimental value" ... 

believe me in life if you have a choice to make , give importance to sentimental value more than monetary value , if money is lost nothing is lost but if emotions are lost everything is lost ... rather than preserving tangible assets , preserve invaluable sentiments, which can make you smile upon remembrance in the form of memories...

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emotions out of control

a wonderful character came across whom everyone calls maahi, in her late 20's or early 30's full of passion, with most unconventional looks but most conventional beauty with very fair complexions and golden hair, the long curl hanging on her right side , touching her baby eye lashes makes her cute.. Delicate beauty like most pampered princess of her dad, the only person (dad) who could understand her, love her; unfortunately is no more....

what is more exciting about this girl is that she is so impulsive, restless, emotional and adventurous wild raw character , with charming personality of her own, who gets in to the minute details of any subject she develops interest for... she has very kind, soft and loving heart who finds happiness in helping and very generous to others ...

a dreamer, a loner, a bit complex character with full of attitude which is oftentimes misunderstood in rudeness and at times her impulsive over emotional outburst as psycho and abusive ... very few understand that neither she is psycho nor abusive but those who understand this are not in her life anymore ... when in love she goes all mad for her love and makes every bit of the moments so graceful and memorable , yet  her over possession makes her unwanted ... the irony is, in-spite being lovely and so competitive and better than most, she suffers from strange insecurity , she cannot lose her love to anybody in the world, not even to god... 

circumstances and other's mature (made up) behavior makes her even more complex, but in reality she is too simple to deal with, as the person she loves only needs to whisper in her ears , i love maahi and very next moment she will melt like a butter from a solid stone in his arms, but fact remains she loves to be chased which gives her feeling of being most wanted but it (chasing) never happens...

she has made her own law of love bit similar to Sir Issac Newton's laws of physics of every action has the same reaction with same force and velocity , she has made her own law that whoever loves her truly gets three times of the love with more intensity and madness which makes her most special 

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Editorial - struggle to live with Opposition

opposites attracts , as long as love is concerned , as the most imperfect matches turn out to be made for each other , just like needle and thread, both different but when together makes things happen....

other than love , opposite never attracts nor can be together....

Role of opposition (constructive) is to make the entity accountable for their actions , but in reality its not the same , as people oppose for their vested interests or selfish motives (political parties, housing society members)......... there's a thin line that separates self esteem and ego, and to feed that dirty ego good amount of fodder in the form of  "opposition" is required.

when Mahesh Bhupati and Rohan boppana opposed to pair with Leander pace for winning an olympic medal for the country , was as good as traitor's act . the irony is when a father wants to oppose to bring up disable child, and wants to abondon his own son Girish on the basis of physical disability turns out to be a silver medal winner in paralympics...perhaps in second case opposition of father has turned out to be a motivation in life to prove him wrong......

i strongly believe there's no thrill in success without being opposed to it , and at times such opposition turns out to be only inspiring factor in life...

its basic right of any person or entity to oppose , but not at the cost of the goodness of the purpose or objective. just like today all political parties opposing decision of government of Foreign Direct Investments (FDI) in retail sector, the protest by opposition is  for their own benefits of damaging the ruling party and such oppositions without convictions have no value, as FDI in retail will benefit public at large except small shop keepers.

opposition doesn't necessarily mean enmity , but the approach and way of expressions of opposition can mislead and backfire, how Aseem Trivedi was charged with sedition for expressing his mute opposition via animated cartoons...or the film stating anti prophet mohammad made by an American is strongly opposed by entire Muslim world, America stands by the basic fundamental/constitutional right of expressions, but such gestures from both sides are debatable.  

opposing an idea also have great such stories as many great inventions were initially opposed , but overcoming such opposition and making it great success is what is i called big turn on for me... opposing to employ Amitabh Bachan in All India Radio was a blunder as the same voice has been greatest asset of Indian cinema & Entertainment....but opposition of some ideas like computerization in 70's before my birth was really uncalled for and unfortunate , as we (Inida) saw the revolution of Information technology very late in 90's.

success is not measured by what you accomplished but how much opposition you have encountered and how you maintained your struggle with great courage against all odds. i respect those who resist me but i just can not tolerate them....

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Blue Loneliness......

Detached from the world for sometime, world of selfish people , world of liars and backstabbers who just want to exploit you in every way they can in the name of bestest friends (opportunists) , no one waits for anybody and simply move on with others and flourishing crimes, giving you feeling of disgust ... strange world and pathetic people , and for few days you just get lost from such ugly world and have a voyage in the middle of the ocean on a journey to peace , is surely divine and spiritual experience.....

sailing ship in the sea, what i liked most was to go on the top most deck all alone and look around the beautiful peaceful whimsical yet mysterious sea all around me .... 360 degrees you only get to see horizons everywhere , no one but strange silence with typical noise of waves ... Millions of waves dying in front of me living very short life and embraced in the middle of the sea, just as many dreams of my life never achieved or buried in my heart, and few waves makes it to the shore giving me ray of hope, someday my dreams shall come true....

there was one lonely bird i could spot , flying all alone in the lonely sky and resting on the ocean after regular intervals (giving  opportunist sharks to be its prey), perhaps lost from its loved ones,  looking at the bird i start missing something in life, so much of water everywhere yet you feel drought deep inside , an infinite thirst which can never be quenched in-spite being in deep waters; how i have been surrounded with many people around me but still at times i find myself aloof and lonely in the crowd .....

the best way to connect all those people who are not in your life , communicating with mom and consoling her , will be there very soon with you  and no diversions can help you get over the pain of losing someone special....in the night in the middle of the sea , when you see beautiful moon , you start communicating your most beautiful inner feelings via moon with your loved ones and hope to live and expect some much needed solace on a windy cool atmosphere ...


you just feel like challenging the ocean, that in my life i have deeper bonds than your depth , i have more dreams to achieve than number of your dying waves , i have more blood than your water to fuel my emotions , i shall overcome every grief and sorrow, i shall live every moment of life with grace and dignity making every challenge bite the dust, i shall give all my dreams, a much deserved life , with those who were always there for me , who never left me , who always made me feel special , who couldn't leave me alone and who cared.......

Security at the cost of few more lives......

Yesterday in the morning when i read news of one more murder of 51 year old woman, wife of one of the prominent builder , i felt sad ... this is the last way anyone would want to lose one's loved-one...sighs... the irony is such a big builder and lives in middle class society with no watchman forget CCTV cam, really strange miser character (or his society didn't agree to have one )....

we cant blame him entirely because mumbai is the place where the most powerful man also might feel frustrated in housing societies...lol... the paradox is Richie rich also cant afford a bungalow here with property prices trying to kiss the sky and housing societies is nothing but a Ranch keeping all class of cattle under one organization giving everyone equal right, be it powerful horse , be it ugly lazy pig, be it hardworking donkey or be it messy rat....lol...whatever you may be in your personal life , whatever position you may have or whosoever are you in the world, but democracy gives equal right to everyone, and you remain just a member , who can never get things done without the consent of Rats, Asses, and few pigs even if it is benefiting to all, that's co-operative society indulging in uncooperative jobs....my contention is why mumbaikars are so pathetically misers ??? they boast of their house price touching to crore or many lakhs but collectively as a society they cant even afford a watchman  ?? most of the society members buy Cars (just for show off or occupying free parking space in the compound or for weekend mall shopping) or indulge in vanity but collectively for society cant afford good CCTV cam for their own security ....sighs....

I also feel sad for the so called corp-orators who are given funds for  the welfare of their area, but never use it effectively ...at the time of election they will knock all the doors begging donations for the party , wish they could do the same for installing CCTV cam in their respective areas and bring down crime rate also....sighs.... wish we had Britishers ruling us , as honestly i don't have much faith in our Indian politicians , like Kalmadi, krupa shankar singh, bangaru laxman or chidambaram.... Entire London is under CCTV surveillance which is remarkable for any city to have such close watch on public at large...anyway, it wont have till few more hundreds/thousands are lost , just keep wondering whose number is next...   

demise of humanity or barbie girl ???...

yesterday while browsing t.v channels came across some horrific news of 3 months old girl being bitten and beaten by her own father as he wanted a son , the reporting itself was so horrific that i had no other option than switching some-other channel.... strange, such news itself is so painful wonder how it would have been for infant to go through such ordeal , and what about a mother , who carried a baby irrespective of her gender discrimination... what a pitiful mother who couldn't recognize the devil father in his husband , i always thought a child to be the strongest bond between man and woman, sad , in this case it was more of a liability bond....

once i went to a swimming pool, and there i saw 2-3 year old girl , rolly polly girl with loud voice , splashing water everywhere , screaming on top of her voice daddy , daddy , making everyone around amused with her antics.....even if katrina kaif in swim suit would have entered that place would have not got any attention how much that doll would steal from everyone around....the scene was so lovely , the doll was constantly calling her father to be with her in children's pool, refraining her father to swim without her...her constant bombarding of questions and that childish talk was making me smile all the time , and the bond between the father and daughter was inexpressive in words ...wish this scene was seen by that monster dad who killed his own daughter, perhaps he could have been more sensitive towards her....

why baby girl is so much unwanted , difficult to understand for me , in-spite having stringent laws favoring women , we are helpless ?? ....in last 20 years Indians have killed 10 million baby girls, is really a matter of shame for me , for every Indian.... i remember having seen child beggars in one of the movies of 1950's , even in 2012 when i reach to some signal i find them in abundance begging ...what i am trying to say is in-spite begging being offence or making children beg is offence, it is happening and shall ever flourish in my Great country ... same-way , girl child is being killed and shall be killed by Indians for years to come ...HUM NAHI SUDHRENGE (lets accept we will not improve)..... we keep boasting of our values and our culture , but  western world is far better than us and not being hypocrite at least... in human sex ratio even some African countries are better than India, and interesting fact is where women to men ratio is higher , such countries are flourishing in every way (e.g most of Europe and US , Canada , Australia)....

child is child , it should be treated as a child without being discriminated based on it's sex... i only wish, that the man who killed his own daughter as he wanted baby boy , his sex should be changed , he should be made woman with several operations on his body and make him go through hell and should be stoned to death in public....


the time has come for government to step in and promote girl child , give status of special citizen who has only one child and that too girl....hope to be the special citizen someday before being senior citizen........lol...

miss you darling..................

love in moments or love as a journey ??

Ghar is one of the most romantic and sensitive movie of indian Cinema , which exhibits the love in true sense or every sense.... the emotions of newly married woman played by rekha and the horrific trauma she goes through is marvelously portrayed on screen, no wonder Vidya Balan is compared to her ......... i really wonder how these people could act so well and take you to some different world, making you skip your heartbeat or even make your tears roll over........i personally just hate to see emotional movies as it gives lot of pain later , as i always feel who wants to spend money to cry ??....but at times such movies just gives you much needed emotional boost , and you start comparing your life with the same , you start hunting yourself or people who matters most to you in those characters, or those faltoo characters in the movie you relate to someone real nasty in your life ... 

its indeed a great feeling of being loved ......, being loved irrespective of how you are, what you say , how you behave, there's someone always there to love you , who would never be critical or judgmental and always be there......, your small small details are very well taken seriously, your antics are also taken lovingly....you may be called psycho but would be loved as madly as psycho would harm you,  or pamper like baby and perhaps you never grow up in that particular lap and remain baby forever ....what you like is more important to that person rather than his/her own taste , the feeling of giving up for him/her, the feeling of losing to someone whom you would love to see winning against you , you don't mind losing million dollars to the smile on his/her face ,come what may you know in any given situation good or bad that person will be there with your one call..it is indeed crazy feeling to be loved like mad and such madness is cherished all your life till you die ....being loved is more intoxicating than any emotions in the world, the mad feeling of being loved transcends all other feelings and make you reach on the top of someone special's heart.....the unconditional affections with your soul mate is the only journey worth going for in life, rest all is bogus, love should be a continuous journey and not to be lived in moments ...

was just searching for the definition of love, and got it , which says , Love is a emotion of strong affection and personal attachment. Love is also a virtue representing all of human kindness, compassion, and affection; and "the unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another". Love may also be described as actions towards others or oneself based on compassion, or as actions towards others based on affection.

hope every living being in this world is blessed with this emotion and live happily everafter....